A Calm Before the Storm

Have you ever met a man whose voice immediately captures your attention? The mere sound of anything coming from his mouth touches your innermost self and excites you in ways you can't fully describe? All encompassing and deep, it sends ripples of ecstasy throughout your entire body? You anticipate his call and can't wait to answer the phone-notwithstanding leaping over the bed to catch it before going to voicemail, only to be disappointed if it wasn't him. His words delicately caress your ears while slow dancing with your mind.

Conservative yet laid back, his confidence speaks volumes without saying a word--what a combination! Not gorgeous by current standards or even extremely handsome, he has a style and manner that grabs hold of you-but you can't seem to put your finger on any one thing that makes him unique. What you do know is that passion oozes from his pores--from the way he slowly lathers his own body in the shower or saunters down the street or the time and care that he puts into preparing a meal. His energy is magnetic! You want to eat, sleep and breathe every part of who he is-from the tips of his toes to the microscopic molecules that make up his being! Needless to say you can't seem to get enough of this man! He's intelligent, worldly and humanely conscious. He inspires you to be your best today and an your even better best tomorrow. Impeccable manners and oh so the gentleman, you wonder why you never met him before now. 'Everything in due time young grasshopper.' LOL

His lips are soft and warm as they meet with yours. Hungry and passionate it's as though your mouths were created only for each other. His touch awakens a part of you that had been dormant for quite some time even though it was always fully active. Warm and inviting, you match each other's intensity - stoke for stroke and note for note. Not just the fist time or the second, but the tenderness and desire grow stronger each and every time you see each other! There's never a lull or a dull moment. Late nights followed by long luxurious mornings. Back-rubs, foot massages, breakfast in bed, dinner by candlelight. Before you know it you've become 'caught up in the rapture of love'! You feel something special- he says he does too. It's undeniable and indescribable! He always knows what to say, when to say it and how to say it. Never faltering, he forever meets you and greets you with an endless array of compliments and gives you the highest of accolades. Plus--he makes you laugh!!! Never one to shy away from public displays of affection,holding hands, a loving kiss, opening doors, removing your coat-he exceeds your romance quotient. When you are with him, the sun shines brighter, the air smells cleaner and you feel like the most beautiful and cherished woman in the world.

But just when you think things couldn't get any better, something goes off in your head. You don't talk to him every day--not because you don't want to, but because he only rings you ever so often. There are times when 2 weeks have gone by and you did not hear from him. Sick in the mind and nausea on your stomach-all symptoms disappear when you hear his voice. "Oh baby, I brought some work home from the office and ended up passing out on the couch" or "I had to go out of town for a family emergency" or "I'm not a phone person, sweetheart" he tells you. Knowing its a crock of B.S., you slowly but surely fall back into sync. The words, the love and the laughter have you caught up once again. Then you remember that you haven't met any of his friends or family during the entire time you've been seeing each other. When you hit him with the dreaded "What are we doing?" question (after 6, 9, and 12 months), he says the same thing, "We're dating". Angry once more, you back off and vow to leave this elusive, secretive and somewhat manipulative man alone. He calls and apologizes. Says he will do better. Says that he loves you. Says that you are very special to him and that he doesn't want to lose you. Elated though somewhat apprehensive, you follow the path that leads to a broken heart once again. You see each other 5 times a week for the next 3 weeks. You are on cloud nine. Then you don't hear from him for the next 8 days. And he forgets your birthday. And he sends you a text message wishing you a Happy Thanksgiving. You enter his home on Christmas nite only to be greeted with open arms and nothing with your name on it under the tree.

Not quite strong enough to fully leave him alone, you decide to turn off a part of your heart. 'Yeah that's real easy!!' Choosing to deal with him only when YOU want. Unsure about what his response may be, You tell him that you are going to start seeing other people. He says, "baby, you have to do what makes you happy". Feeling the dagger pierce through your flesh to your very core- those words hurt like hell. With tears stinging your eyes, you get up out of his bed, gather your things and walk out the door. He follows you but just stands there without saying a word.

It's been about 3 months and you are doing well. Feeling pretty powerful. Working out several times a week. Eating properly. Getting to really know yourself without the comforts of someone else-just doing YOU.

Haven't returned any of his calls nor given in to your aching heart strings. You're finally getting over him! Rushing around before a meeting at work, you receive a phone call and answer it in your haste. "Hello my love" he says.

Later that evening over dinner and drinks, you look into his eyes and discover that that old familiar feeling has crept back in. You sometimes question if you've been hoodwinked and the answer is no. Because even though 'Mr. Smooth' is back, you did it all to yourself.